Sunday, February 14, 2010

Last Night...I Dreamed of Bacon

I wish I could control my dreams. I tried as a child. I think I remember a time in which I realized I was dreaming and hi-jacked my subconscious mind. I ended up flying around and beating up bullies until my alarm called me back to earth....or, maybe I dreamed that. Anyway-

I remember liking bacon quite a bit when I was an omnivore, but probably not enough to eat it in my dreams. Or so I thought. Last night, I gorged myself on it. I dreamed I was at a party...where someone was cooking a big skillet of bacon. Weird...right? I was getting righteously indignant about the whole ordeal. Preaching the vegan gospel and whatnot (this is something that I would clearly only do in a dream...never in real life.) Next thing I knew, I had grabbed the whole pan and run into a vacant room, shoving it into my mouth, hand over fist, as I ran. It tasted weird, but I kept going. As I finished the last strip and wiped the grease from the corner of my mouth, the guilt settled in. I even woke up feeling guilty and unsettled. Really weird.

This is definitely a first. The only theory I can come up with is that the idea was planted into my head after watching Jonathan Safran Foer on The Colbert Report at my brother-in-law's urging. Watching Stephen Colbert use bacon as a bookmark (in the book "Eating Animals") was the stuff that dreams are made of...apparently. I don't think it means that I miss bacon. Though I did make myself a mean tempeh bacon BLT for lunch...and it was awesome.